Things that make me irrationally angry on a regular basis:
1) Deodorant stains on the bottom of my shirt.
2) When the bottom of my jeans get wet from puddles, then I sit on my feet at work and then my butt is also wet.
3) When you dye your hairline and actually end up dyeing your forehead and/or ears.
Miss Jolie, you’re doing it wrong.
4) Peaches that look absolutely delicious, but are actually tasteless and gritty like they’ve been pumped full of oatmeal.
5) When the Walgreens employees tell me to “be well.”
I hate you ALL.
6) When drivers blast crappy music with the windows down. It’s usually angry rap or Mexican music that makes me crave salsa. (Tampa NOT Tijuana)
This is not what the drivers look like, but this picture ALSO makes me want salsa.
7) Forced banter with the hair stylist. We have nothing in common except that for that hour we both care about my hair.
8) People who can’t properly pronounce words ending in “ing.” It’s not cry-EEN or walk-EEN. These people typically also have difficulty spell-EEN.
9) When you get to the bottom of the coffee cup and the grounds have piled up, the last swallow like cold, bitter mud.
10) My kids. Okay, kidding… kind of.
Living The American Scream 
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