So, this guy walks into a bar…

imagination mover

Can you picture it? Me neither.

My husband and I were discussing adult actors on kid shows. How can they live with themselves as grownups when shooting wraps for the day?

I don’t see Mister Douche from Imagination Movers proudly donning that early 90’s Shaggy haircut and chunky soul patch while ordering any beer with an alcohol content over 5%.

He looks like more of an O’Doul’s type. Maybe throw in a teeny umbrella.

I’m guessing they have morality clauses in their contracts, but what would that entail for a 30-something on a kid show?

I mean, do you think Twist from Fresh Beat Band hits up the strip club on occasion?

twist

He has crow’s feet for Christ’s sake!

I have a huge girl crush on Carly Ciarrocchi from the Sunny Side Up Show.

CARLY

Her cutesy color blocking and funky sneakers don’t fool me. I bet she’s a blast to hang out with at house parties and can kill it at the club.

But…. can she? Does she?

Don’t get me started on The Wiggles.

wiggles

“Sir, I didn’t recognize you without your rib-crushing, shiny spandex turtle neck.”

“You mean, you don’t actually prefer women’s underwear? I just… assumed… because… you know.”

There’s always this secret assumption that at least some of the older cast members on these shows could be undercover sex offenders.

Thanks Pee Wee. Mugshot complete with pervy Blue Blockers.

pee wee

Even in death, the lovely Mister Rogers will never be able escape theories that he was actually some kind of evil-doer.

I still love you Mister Rogers. You, and Mr. Happy Trees.

bob ross

Even when they find the bodies buried in Bob Ross’s backyard. I’ll still love him.

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