I think my daughter might be the “mean girl.”

Her “report card” last week included a note that suggested we speak to her about sharing and “being nice” to her friends.

She recently told me at dinner that she tries to tell her friends to chew with their mouths closed.

“Nobody listens to me. I tell them over and over and over!!”

This weekend I got to witness some of the judgmental nastiness first-hand.

We went to a birthday party for her classmate at a Jump Zone.

Alma says all the time, “I’m not afraid of anything!” She’s a liar.

She’s terrified of the car wash, haircuts and bouncy houses.

haircut

She refused to go anywhere near any of the bouncy houses, instead lurking nearby and occasionally talking smack about her classmates.

I suggested she say hello to Kendall. I figured they were besties considering Alma recently told she wished her name was “Kendall.”

Alma: “Kendall always talks like a baby.”

Kendall’s mom was standing… right… there.

Me: “Oh, well…er… remember… you’re the oldest girl in your class.” (Why did I have to give birth to her after September 1st, dangit!)

Later, she spots the birthday girl in a purple crown and says, “I want one of those purple crowns.”

Me: “Well, she is the birthday girl. The crown is just for her.”

Alma: “No, I can just get it from her.”

Me: “You can’t just take her crown, Alma.”

Alma: “No, I am going to ask her for it. She will give it to me.”

I have to grab her by the arm and stop her from racing over to a bounce house she won’t go inside where she plans to strong-arm the poor chick with the Elsa wig out of her birthday crown.

paryt time

What a jerk.

Her brother is in heaven, climbing the steps like a little diaper-clad monkey, out-bouncing middle schoolers.

huck climbing

Alma grabs him and asks enthusiastically, “Want to play hide and seek?”

Before even seeing if he’s game, she’s squatting near a bounce house counting. She shouts, “Here I come!” She never even considered the possibility that Huck didn’t want to play.

She ran to find him, threw angry hands on her hips and said with massive attitude, “Where did he go?”

I told her he went back to play inside a bouncy house and she yelled, “I told him to play hide and seek!”

My daughter is a bully.

How did this happen?

Sharing is like the introductory course to being a Corsa.

In our family, skipping the word “please” means you will go without.

Forgetting “thank you” means there’s a chance we will snatch back whatever they just got.

“Can I have a turn, please?” is our mantra.

I don’t even know how to begin a conversation with her about this.

“Alma, you can’t be such a bitch or everyone will hate you.”

“You’re kind of a bossy dick.”

“You’re a few mutilated animals away from becoming a serial killer.”

I don’t want to believe that she is a mean girl and I certainly don’t want to think that I’m somehow the cause of her behavior.

I would like to be the one to put a stop to it, but how do you delicately tell a toddler that she’s basically a 35-pound version of the wicked witch terrorizing the munchkins of daycare Oz?

When she’s being mean to her brother, I occasionally say, “Alma, you’re mean.” Huck always comes to her defense, “Alma’s not mean. She’s nice!”

Is he right? Am I overreacting?

It’s totally my job to keep her in line, but how do I do that when her social interaction is limited to the several hours a day I am NOT around because I’m working?

This same little girl spontaneously hugs me, kisses me, tells me she loves me and even compliments my sandals, clothes and hair… and apparently rules her school with an iron fist.

alma cake

I usually try to tie these posts in a pretty bow, but there ain’t no flowery way to wrap up a post about my daughter, the Castro of the Corsa clan.

Advertisements